My respect for full time pattern designers has skyrocketed over the last few days. And let me tell you; I already respected them plenty. I would draw a graph of some sort for you visualizing my increased respect if I could but I can’t because you know what: I suck at technology. While working on three patterns plus adapting a previously written one simultaneously this week I’ve realized that while I may have the knitting skills to pull this stuff off I DO NOT:

1. Know very much about taking professional looking photos of my knitting

2. Have a very good camera

3. Have the technical savvy required for this pattern writing business such as resizing a photo for e-mail or making graphics and charts

4. Realize that there is a huge difference between knowing how to read a pattern and how to write a pattern

5. Have the ability to keep up basic hygiene and diet while working on patterns

6. Have a flux capacitor which enables me to go back in time and remember how I designed something a year and a half ago

7. Know how to hold my foot in an awkward position for more than five seconds enabling it to be photographed crisply

8. Have the ego to face rejection of a pattern I have worked so hard on

You would think that facing these crippling flaws I would know when to quit, but no dice. The sock pattern has been submitted and I have added two free patterns to this here site which you can access if you scroll up and click “free patterns”. First; the Isolde Newborn Hat.

So called because that was the working title of the baby in utero. (side bar: I can’t even get this line to left justify after centering the hat photo. That’s how much I suck. Nevermind: fixed it! Confidence restored somewhat.)

And second a Basic Cabled Mittens pattern.

This one comes with a hefty disclaimer that I can’t guarantee that your mittens will look like the mittens above by following the pattern as written. I made these ages ago and have tried my best to reverse engineer them but I’m not confident that your cable won’t end up on your forehead. So, I’m offering a prize to the first two knitters who attempt these mittens and e-mail me with comments or corrections. We’ll see how that turns out.

I also received my Little Knits order yesterday and quickly found that I no longer had any idea what I was doing when it comes to Road to Golden. When knitting a raglan yoke there are dozens of things happening at once, and again I was finding myself wishing for a souped up Delorean to let me travel back three weeks ago when I last set this down.

I should probably go eat something.